Sickness

I've told a little bit of what's been going on, on my facebook page. Which I think most people who stop by here, read. But facebook always feels shallow to me. This place gives me more comfort to really write my thoughts. So, here's more.

Martin's grandmother (noni) passed away last week. I had the pleasure of getting to know her a little during our marriage. She cared so much for her grandchildren. She came to our wedding in Michigan--In February. She came up for martin's law school graduation. She sent cards on our birthdays and anniversaries. And I can tell that she was a huge part of martin's up-bringing. One day when we were visiting San Antonio, we were at the market shopping and she bought me a bracelet. She said it was just because she could tell that I like jewelry and she did too. I wore it the day Martin told me she had died. And several people complimented me on it.

He tried to make it down for the funeral but several events caused him to determine it wasn't meant to be. I know it was hard for him to stay here while his family gathered to celebrate her life. Some things I'll never understand.

So, in the meantime, back here in Michigan my grams (my only grandparent who took an interest in my life) went to the hospital for care and got a MRSA infection. Which is the "super bug" that people talk of. You know, the infections that are completely resistant to bacteria. So, she's had an IV going directly into one of the veins in her heart for the past 3 weeks and has about 3 more weeks of it. She has advanced rheumatoid arthritis so her immune system is shot. I worry about what will happen when she's done with the anti-biotic. And on top of her situation, when she gets out, she can't go back to her apartment. She has to go into some government full time care thing. I just hate that for her.

Through all of this, I tell myself that I'm in the stage of my life where grandparents aren't as healthy as they used to be. So, it helps. Somehow it goes along with the process of life. And while it is sad, it's easier to accept.

And then I find out today that my dad went to the emergency room. He spent the night there and has had about every test possible or known to mankind done to him. They don't know what's wrong. Something with his heart.

Sickness is all around me. And I know we're supposed to tell ourselves that all things work together for good. But sometimes I don't believe it. And telling me that I might not ever know the good that comes out of a situation, doesn't really do anything for me. And I can tell that this is all affecting Martin because he told me he dreamt about me dying all last night. He said he leaned over to me and made sure I was breathing before he could go back to sleep.

I'm looking forward to a span of time with no news of sickness.